Scrapbooking my tribe Femmeboss

Scrapbooking my tribe – Or how I created the support system I wanted

Humans are tribal. In fact, I believe we’re thribal – we NEED our tribe if we want to thrive, and I think I get more and more convinced of this with every passing day as a mother and wife living as an expat.

When I was single my tribe was almost non-existent and that was ok. In fact, even during the gregarious teenage years, I always felt that I wasn’t completely part of my groups of classmates and friends. Even today, from my closest friends from that era, I’m probably the one who is least emotionally (and geographically) close to the rest.

Once I graduated college and started my life as an expat, things got even trickier. Moving around the continent and later crossing oceans to move in a whole different country and culture to mine, meant my tribe withered. But, ironically my need to belong and have meaningful connections became greater with each passing year.

After six country relocations, three career changes, a marriage (and subsequent name change), two children and countless experiences in less than 10 years I find myself building my tribe with pieces of a puzzle that sometimes make me painfully aware of how much struggle we face, in the “era of communications”, to build supporting and lasting human connections that help us through the chaos of life.

In my case, the fact that I’m a Venezuelan Catholic Hippie-New-Age-y Stay-At-Home-Mom/Solopreneur (who still can’t say much in Arabic!) living in a traditional Islamic country, make things trickier and the tribe puzzle goes from a 50 pieces one to a 500 pieces 3D one, featuring flying elements and all. Complicated is an understatement.

But that’s the thing. It was never meant to be easy but meaningful and valuable instead; and so I continue asking myself: How do we build tribes nowadays? How do we find the support network we crave to live our lives in a mindful and organic way, knowing that we share our struggles, problems and joys with a group of people that “gets” and accepts us, a group of humans who have our backs?

In fact, the main reason why I decided to go behind projects like #FemmeBoss was precisely this one. Not only to be part of a tribe of amazing women supporting each other, but also to give traction to it so it could grow and reach more.

In the end, these are my bits of wisdom about scrapbooking our thribes (specially as expats):

1. Leave the passport and dogma behind – Let go of the close-mindedness that comes with racial, cultural and religious assumptions and open your heart and mind to amazing people to adopt into your tribe.
2. Try the old, the new and the awkward – Let yourself try new things even when you don’t want to. Adults struggle more to make connections because we’re so busy focused on being cool that we don’t dare to do new activities or leave our comfort zone. Dare and see if your kindred sisters are hanging in that new Hip Hop Class you always wanted to take.
3. Always leave your home well-fed and with NO expectations – Building a tribe isn’t an exact science, the only real thing you can do is open yourself up and see what happens. In this sense, expecting nothing will help you through the path.
4. Let the You-ness shine through – In making connections, it is key to remain authentic and honest about who you are, your needs, likes and ideals so that those resonating with you and your values will resonate and approach you.
5. Embrace Diversity – When building your thribe remember that kindred spirits aren’t clones. Different tastes, styles, ideals, approach to life and motivations can give you’re a 360 view of the world (and different types of support).

Now, is your time to start this movement and build that Thribe you crave for. I’m going to continue on my path too, cutting, pasting and doing my part for myself and them, as we grow, move and transform on our holistic journeys.